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[opens with the green screen with the message for movies showing "THE FOLLOWING PREVIEW HAS BEEN APPROVED FOR ALL AUDIENCES BY THE NATIONAL MOVIE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA; the screen fades black and returns to see the skyline of Los Angeles; fades black and shows "IT WAS A PERFECT DAY"

Announcer: [dramatically] It was a perfect day... [scenes shows a woman and her daughter walking to the LAX]

Daughter: I love you, mommy. [shows "IT WAS A PERFECT PLAN"]

Announcer: It was a perfect plan. [shows a nuclear power plant station]

Terrorist #1: [to another terrorist] This is our target, The Nuclear Power Plant. [shows computer demonstrating the terrorists' plan of how a plane hits the Power Plant] If we capture the plan at precisely the right moment, they will not have time to shut down the aircraft. [shows "FOR A PERFECT ATTACK"]

Announcer: For a perfect attack. [shows Pentagon]

Congress Man #1: If they hit that power plant with the aircraft, the casualties can lead to hundreds of thousands.

Congress Man #2: God, help us all. [shows "EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT..."]

Announcer: Everything was perfect...[the terrorists are at a airport] except... [terrorist #2 looks at the airline schedules, which suddenly changes into CPT]

Terrorist #1: What? What is this "CPT"?

Jamiqua (Mo'Nique): That means the plane is gonna get here when it gets here.

Announcer: [jokingly] They've pick the wrong airline!

Jamiqua (Mo'Nique): [annoyed] And don't come up here, complaining this shit. You mothafuckas want to come up here and act a goddamn fool. [walks away] I'm about to go on break. You motherfucking terrorists kill me.

Announcer: [Shows the title screen.] Soul Plane 2: The Blackjacking! [Scene changes to the sercurity scanner, where a man is looking through at the luggage through an x-ray] Come see why black incompence... [A woman passes by, temporarily distracting the worker, letting miscellaneous weapons go through the scanner.] iis our funniest weapon on the War on Terror!

Airline Worker #1: [serious] We can't let you though, homie! Aye, this Osama Bin Laden's nephew, nigga!

Terrorist #2: [distraught] I-I-I'm once removed and I-I-I-

Airline Worker #1: [laughing]  I'm just fucking with you, dawg! Go ahead, nigga!

Granddad: What's wrong with you?

Huey: I don't want to go to the movie.

Granddad: Why not?

Huey: I don't ever want to go to the movies with you again. Not after what happened last time.

Granddad: What happened last time?

Huey: We got arrested and shot at.

Granddad: Ah, racism.

Jazmine: Daddy said I can to go the movies, but he said I'm not allowed to see "Soul Plane".

Huey: Good. You don't want to go to the movies with him. He's crazy.

Granddad: Hush! Can't see "Soul Plane"? Why, little baby?

Jazmine: Because of the types of stereos, or something.

Granddad: Types of stereos? Oh, no, no, no, little baby doll. This is a good theater. They have THX.

Huey: He means "stereotypes".

Granddad: Stereotypes? In "Soul Plane"? That's nonsense! Say, how 'bout we tell your daddy that we saw something else. Hmm?

Jazmine: [shocked] You mean, lie?

Huey: That really doesn't seem to be a good idea.

Granddad: Hush, boy! You know, it's okay to break the rules every once in a while. I won't tell if you won't.

Jazmine: Okay.

Huey (voice-over): Sometimes, I think Granddad may be a bad influence.

Granddad: Riley, don't forget the camcorder.

Granddad: Now, the first "Soul Plane" was funny.

Huey: About as funny as a lynching.

Granddad: Oh, hush, boy. You ain't even see it.

Huey: I've never seen a lynching either, but I know they're not funny.

Granddad: See? Shows what you know. I've seen funny lynchings.

Huey: No, you haven't.

Granddad: I have so. Roscoe Patterson's lynching was funny.

[Flashback to the past, 


Huey: Robert Jebediah Freeman had sworn a lifetime intifada against the movie theater industry for exorbitant prices and poor customer services, which, interestingly enough, did not stop him from going to see movies.

Huey: I understand you need your job, but you're still a human being with dignity.

Usher: Yeah, I mean, look at this uniform, man. I look like a fucking dork. Why would they make me dress like this? What did I do to them, huh?


Granddad: Damn! Large freshly popped popcorn, please. And lots of butter.

Receptionist: Anything else?

Granddad: I asked for butter on it.

Receptionist: Butter's over there.

Granddad: I don't want to put the butter on it. Why can't you do it?

Receptionist: You're supposed to put the butter on it.

Granddad: I don't want to put the butter on it. I already paid $20 for this bullshit popcorn. I will not demean myself by putting butter on popcorn.

Receptionist: Why? It's really easy.

Granddad: Why? Because I don't work at the movie theater! That's why!

Receptionist: You're supposed to put the butter on it.

Granddad: If I go to Burger King and order a cheeseburger, they don't make you put the cheese on it. Do they, goddamn it?!

Ruckus: I see, I see. Just 'cause you're skin's light, bright, and two shades from being white, you think you're too good to butter your own popcorn? Well, you're wrong, Lando Calrissian.

Granddad: Damn it, Ruckus. You have to put some butter on this popcorn.

Stuntman: We put our lives on the line every day to make movies. And then people come along and steal all that hard work. Who would do something like that? A terrible, awful human being that no one will ever love. That's who.

Jazmine: I'm so sorry, Mr. Stuntman.

Riley: Boo! Hey, get to the flick!

Granddad: What happened to the movies? Y'all should be ashamed! Why is it when I order a soda pop, I get a empty cup? I didn't order a empty cup! I ordered a soda pop! And what asshole started putting commercials in movies? I can see commercials at home on TV! And the bathrooms stink! Clean the fucking bathrooms! I'm not gonna take it anymore! I paid too much damn money for these movie tickets to butter my own motherfucking popcorn! It's only popcorn!

Ruckus: When did you get here?

Granddad: Huh?

Ruckus: Well, I've been at the ticket window all day long and I don't remember you buying no ticket, Robert Freeman.

Granddad: I got my tickets online.

Ruckus: Aha! A damn lie! I ain't never met a nigger smart enough to use a personal computer. Not even a Macintosh.

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