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Colonel H. Stinkmeaner

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"Nigga, you better have insurance! Ass-whoopin' insurance! And you about to pay a deductible! "Stinkmeaner

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Colonel H. M. Stinkmeaner' is a fictional character from the Adult Swim animated television series The Boondocks. The character is an antagonist in the series, and is portrayed as a foulmouthed, blind old man who believes it is his mission in life, and apparently in death, to spread hatred, ignorance, and chaos wherever he goes.

AppearanceEdit

Stinkmeaner is a dark-skinned black man with a frail-looking body, paunchy stomach, messy gray hair, buckteeth, and sunglasses. Stinkmeaner wore a green-and-white cardigan, pinstriped gray trousers, a loosened bow-tie, checkered shirt, and scuffed black shoes when he was alive, and karate robes when in Hell. He is always seen with a mean scowl, and that he "always was and always would be a cantankerous ornery old man." He spent his childhood disagreeing on most things, including happiness, unity, and kindness. He became blind at age fifteen due to cancer, which hardly affected him in terms of hope, and was expected to die three years later. For this reason, Stinkmeaner dedicated the remaining years of his life to making everyone else's life miserable. Doctors were at a loss as to how he managed to live so long, but it is believed that his "love of hatred" is what has sustained him into old age.

HistoryEdit

Stinkmeaner is known for his foul attitude, AAVE Ebonics-ridden insults, mostly with the word " nigga" or bitch" (he actually pronounces it "Nee-Uh-Guh" and "Nyu-kuh") and constantly spitting, misanthropy, and hatred for all people of all races (black people especially for example) and things that are meant to bring joy. He also believes that anyone who is possibly killed by [him] will receive the closest thing to an honorable death as most of [them] will probably get, and in that respect he considers himself a "humanitarian". He is the series' prime instigator of "a Nigga Moment," times where "ignorance overwhelms the mind of a perfectly logical negro male, causing him to act in an illogical self-destructive manner." According to the series, these situations are the #3 reason why black men are killed (porkchops and the Federal Emergency Management Agency being #2 and #1, respectively.)

Stinkmeaner's death in the series occurred in season one, and was the result of a confrontation with Robert "Granddad" Freeman. After Huey's mistaking the old man's mannerisms for genuine fighting skill, Robert beat him to death for what he did to his car, new shoes, and knee, shown in the episode "Granddad's Fight".

In the second season episode "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back", the character is bent on getting revenge on the Freeman family. While in Hell, Satan himself describes him as "the baddest motherfu**er Hell had ever seen," and Stinkmeaner even calls Satan himself a "bitch-ass nigga." Since his death, Stinkmeaner has trained under the devil's wing in martial arts and Three section staff (calling them "three stick numchucks"), commenting "Y'all gonna have to kick me out of this bitch, I'm having the time of my life!" He proves to be even more psychotic when he possesses Tom Dubois and tries to kill Granddad with an axe. He also fights the Freeman children, commenting that they're "not too little to get dat ass whooped." Stinkmeaner is heard singing the chorus "Ave Maria" from Ellens dritter Gesang by Franz Schubert at random times.

Series appearancesEdit

Uncle Ruckus whipping Tom DuBois, who is possessed by Stinkmeaner, in the episode "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back".In the episode Granddad's Fight, Stinkmeaner first appears in the series when he slams his car repeatedly into the Freeman car, known as "Dorothy", believing the handicapped space is always free (the dented sign post shows that he always roughly parks there, further alluding to it in the episode "Stinkmeaner Strikes Back"). This instigates a "nigga moment" when he blames Granddad for being in the space in the first place and proceeds to stomp on his brand new white Nike tennis shoes. When Granddad tries to throw a punch, he taps Stinkmeaner's cane with his foot, giving away his position, and allowing Stinkmeaner to move just in time to avoid the punch. When Granddad hits the ground, the blind man strikes him on his bad knee, and the fight somehow makes national and international headlines. Granddad challenges him to a rematch, and Huey, mistakenly believing that Stinkmeaner has heightened senses and skills as a result of his blindness, helps him train for two weeks (he even dreams sword-fighting Stinkmeaner as the Blind Nigga Samurai). During the fight, Stinkmeaner swings around his cane wildly shouting expletives while Granddad lands blow after blow with the final one killing the blind man. Huey describes him as a "blind old man who had just gotten lucky" in their first encounter.

In Stinkmeaner Strikes Back, Stinkmeaner is resurrected when Satan believes that he is the best candidate to "spread ignorance and chaos in the black community" and to get revenge on the Freeman family. He possesses Tom Dubois when the prosecutor is in a nigga moment, as a black man's spirit is weakened and vulnerable during one, and slowly gains full control over him. After having Sexual intercourse with Tom's wife Sarah, he attacks the Freeman household until he is knocked out and held down (in Riley's bed, to his disgust). His constant shouting ruins Granddad's blind date, and the Freemans summon Uncle Ruckus to exorcise] Stinkmeaner's spirit from Tom's body. Ruckus's techniques of forcing Stinkmeaner to read and beating him with whips and nightsticks (all things that frighten black men according to Ruckus) have little to no effect, but the ghost of Ghostface Killah (who is not really dead in the series or real life) cryptically reveals to Huey that the only sure way to end a nigga moment is with peace. Stimulating a friendly conversation between Ruckus and Stinkmeaner by comparing their mutual hatred of black people, the blind man's spirit is forced out of Tom's body but swears to return to eventually get his revenge. Stinkmeaner narrates the episode Stinkmeaner 3: The Hateocracy, in which his crew, the "Hateocracy", re-unites to ostensibly exact revenge on Robert Freeman for killing Stinkmeaner. However, it is revealed that they actually didn't care about him at all, and only wanted a convenient target to annoy. When his crew is thrown in jail by the police, who remark that jail is the only thing that can stop a nigga moment for good, Stinkmeaner adds that he is glad to be in Hell rather than jail.

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