|Season 1, Episode 3|
|Air date||November 20, 2005|
|Written by|| Rodney Barnes
|Directed by||Anthony Bell|
The Trial of R.Kelly
"Guess Hoe's Coming to Dinner" is the third episode of the Adult Swim's The Boondocks Series. It originally aired on November 20, 2005.
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Huey, Riley and Granddad are at a grocery store when they come across a little boy name Herbert (voiced by Jake Cherry) who is throwing a major tantrum and thoroughly embarrassing his mother, who is futilely pleading with him to stop. Granddad hands Herbert's Mother his belt and shows her how to use it. Herbert, immediately recognizing the belt as an enforcement tool, stops his tantrum in terror. Herbert's mother takes off after her child and proceeds to beat him, much to the delight of everyone in the store.
Shortly after, a scantily-clad and very attractive young woman with very large breasts comments on Granddad's handling of the situation. The woman claims to be named "Cristal, like the champagne", prompting Huey to ask if she is a stripper. During their conversation talk at the store, she even stated that she love shopping grocery in rich neighborhood, as the freemans wandered why she buy much food. bears that resembles a human gentials and even Trojon condoms as Cristal pays for it with her prosistution money. After Granddad generously helps Cristal carry her bags to her car, she asks him on a date. During the car ride back home, Riley makes several comments about Cristal being a "hoe". Granddad quickly gets annoyed and threatens Riley, eventually reaching back and slapping him.
The big date takes place at Red Lobster. Cristal and Granddad make small talk and he remarks on her extraordinary ability to eat large amounts of food; particularly her enjoyment of the cheddar biscuits. Cristal hangs onto Granddad's arm as they walk along the street back to the car, chatting endlessly about her previous short-lived careers, failed attempts to return to school, and current "occupation." Every single guy they pass turns to stop and stare at Cristal. Both she and Granddad seem oblivious to all the attention that Cristal is getting.
While their granddad is out on the date, Huey and Riley are stuck at home, and Riley strikes up a conversation about hoes. He seems to understand what a hoe is, but has trouble distinguishing them from regular women, eventually concluding that all women must be hoes because men pay to take them out to dinner. The next day There are several scenes of Granddad taking Cristal shopping and forking over his credit card to pay obscene prices for Cristal's outlandish spending.Soon Cristal moves into the house and quickly takes over. The house fills up with her shopping bags. She, meanwhile, lazes around the house, and Cristal plays PlayStation 2 with Riley (she wins, much to Riley's annoyance), and drinks orange juice straight out of the carton (Huey later burns the carton) after winning , Riley claims that Cristal "cheats on Playstaion". Huey and Riley try to tell Granddad that Cristal is a prostitute, but Grandad refuses to believe them. Huey confronts Cristal alone stating he wants her out but Cristal refuses stating she do things to persuade Granddad to let her stay.
Huey and Riley want her out of their house so badly, they follow Cristal by hiding in the backseat of her car and take photos of her as she goes to the strip club where she works and meets with her pimp. When Cristal returns, Huey and Riley show the pictures to Granddad, who inspects them. When confronted about them, Cristal squirms her way out of it by claiming the photos are digitally altered, and grandad accusing the boys of using Photoshop to get Cristal in trouble. Cristal goes so far as to break into fake tears to get him to side with her and Granddad quickly takes her side. Shortly after, the doorbell rings and Riley goes to answer it, announcing that the visitor is a "nigga in a purple suit." Cristal quickly ducks beneath the table, appearing to be very scared. Granddad goes to the door and comes face-to-face with Cristal's pimp, oddly named A Pimp Named Slickback. Grandad keeps getting his name wrong (merely calling him "Slickback"), leading to a short exchange between the two. ("You say the whole thing! Like A Tribe Called Quest!")
A Pimp Named Slickback Granddad finally realizes Cristal's secret. A Pimp Named Slickback orders Cristal to go with with him but she ask him for a minute with Granddad. A Pimp Named Slickback gets annoyed with Cristal and says "A Pimp's Prayer." Immediately following, A Pimp Named Slickback brings his hand down to strike her, but Granddad whips his belt around A Pimp Named Slickback's wrist and catches it in midair before he hits her. Both A Pimp Named Slickback and Cristal look shocked that Granddad is still trying to help Cristal, even after she used him for her own selfish purposes.
After a bit of pleading, A Pimp Named Slickback gives Cristal 45 seconds (exactly) to discuss things before he leaves. Cristal and Granddad talk quickly about the situation and Granddad offers Cristal a place to stay while she finds a real job. Cristal thinks it over and goes to get rid of A Pimp Named Slickback, but before she leaves, she leans close to Granddad and whispers into his ear, "Thanks for trying to save me." Running out the door and leaving a surprised Granddad behind, Cristal runs up to the car but is left coughing in the dust as A Pimp Named Slickback quickly drives off, making her run behind the car as she tries to catch up.
Granddad goes back into the house and sits down at the dining room table all night waiting for her. In the middle of the night, Huey comes down the stairs and sees a light on in the dining room. He investigates and finds Granddad asleep on the table, a candle burning in front of him and tissues scattered about. Huey wakes him up, startling Granddad, and tells him to go to sleep. Grandad protests, saying "Don't blow out the candle! She'll think nobody's home!" Huey tells Grandad to try again tomorrow blowing out the candle, leaving the house in darkness. At the end of the episode, Cristal is shown still chasing the car even as it goes up to the highway, to A Pimp Named Slickback's amusement.
- The song that plays halfway through the episode is "Gold Digger" by Kanye West (feat. Jamie Foxx).
- A Pimp Named Slickback does not appear in any other episodes in Season 1 but he is a supporting character in Tom, Sara and Usher before returning to a cameo role in The Story of Gangstalicious, Part 2.
- This is the first episode in which Robert Freeman uses his belt against someone.