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  • [The Freemans, a news report is on about a major promotion at KFC (Kernel's Fried Chicken in show) with costumers, dressed in costumes related to the restaraunt, waiting in line]
  • New Announcer: [voice-over] It's a scene normally reserved for major hollywood blockbusters. The faithful have been lined up for days-some arrived in costume-all for the love of chicken. [Robert and Riley, hearing about the news are in happy delight. Meanwhile, Huey is seen working on a generator with Jazmine next to him]
  • Huey: Okay, try it. [Jazmine turns out a switch nearby, however, it fails and the generator explodes, hurting Huey]
  • Jamzmine: Huey! [the TV is seen, this time, a commercial with a man dancing with two pieces of chicken in his hands, immitating a chicken about the news report earlier]
  • Announcer: Tomorrow, the fried chicken event of a lifetime... one more herb, one more spice, the new Kernel's Fried Chicken new, original recipe, now with 13 herb... [TV shuts off and so as the power, which was caused by Huey's generator]
  • Robert: What the... I bet it's your brother! I knew i should've abandoned him at the mall when I had the chance! [Huey and Jazmine comes in, as Robert speaks to Huey] BOY! What did I tell you, huh?! I said you can do what you want with your little survival thing, but don't mess with my TV. Every year, it's a new disaster- bird flu, swine flu, World War lll, killer astranoids, new world oder...what was... the tri-sexual commision. What the hell is a tri-sexual, anaway?
  • Huey: [to Robert] Trilateral!
  • Robert: I got a silly contraption in my garage, a hundred gallons of fucking water! I got more damn cheerios and canned green beans than I'm ever gonna eat.
  • Huey: Granddad, I promise you'll be thanking me when the crisis comes.
  • Robert: Where is the crisis, boy? Where's the disaster? Where's the return of investment? All this damn money of extra food and toilet paper. That's it! It's over! I ain't spending over another damn dime on the end of the world. You're on your own now, Jack. [to Riley] Boy, you ready to go get some chicken?
  • Riley: Yeah! Yeah!
  • Robert: [to Jazmine] You want some fried chicken, little baby?
  • Jazmine: Fried Chicken is murder [Robert and Riley shows an irritated face to Jazmine]
  • Robert: Suit yourself. [to Riley] Come on. Let's go. [they both leave with Riley chuckling. Then, they both drive off]
  • Riley: YEAH! [in the garage with Huey still working on his generator with Jazmine behind him, seated]
  • Jazmine: What's that for, anyway?
  • Huey: It's a generator.
  • Jazmine: What does it do?
  • Huey: Nothing, right now, but if I can get it to work, it could save our lives.
  • Jazmine: So, how bad is it gonna be, when the end of the world comes?
  • Huey: I don't know, but I got it all worked out so the three of us can survive in this house as long as possible.
  • Jazmine: Three?
  • Huey: Me, Riley and Granddad.
  • Jazmine: What about everyone else?
  • Huey: I can't save everyone else. If I tried, I'd just end up saving nobody.
  • Jazmine: What about me? Would you let me stay here-u know, if things got bad.
  • Huey: The plan is for three people. A fourth person, and we could run out of food or water.
  • Jazmine: But I'm your friend, can't you make a plan for four people? [Huey continues working on the generator]
  • Huey: I guess.
  • Jazmine: [sighs] I feel much better about that now. You know, Huey, everybody says that you're a loony person, but I think one day, you're gonna be smarter than everybody. [on the road, Robert and Riley are still in delight]
  • Riley: Man, this chicken gonna be off the chain. [sing-songy] I can't wait. Mm. I can't wait. Mm. I'm gonna get some chicken. I can't wait. Mm
  • Robert: See, you kids don't know how lucky you've have it. All my life. we only had 11 herbed spices. This is a whole new... [Robert sees cars in front of him] Oh.
  • Riley: AAAHHH!
  • Robert: Oh man. [a line of over 100 cars are waiting in line for the chicken up to Kernel's Fried Chicken. Several hours later, Robert's car finally makes it to the near the ordering machine]
  • Riley: [sleeptalking] A two-piece special with lots of hot sauce and all the fries you can give me. [Robert wakes him up]
  • Robert: Boy, wake up! It's almost chicken time. [a man in front of Robert's car begins yelling at the ordering machine]
  • Man #1: What?! I can't believe what you're telling me! What?! Huh! [Robert exits out his car] No Way! No goddamn way! Hell no.
  • Robert: What is it?
  • Man #1: These motherfuckers says that there out of chicken!
  • Robert: WHAT?!
  • Man #1: Listen, Listen!
  • KFC Female Worker: Welcome to Kernel's Fried Chicken. Unfortunately, we are out of chicken at the moment. Please go away until we have more chicken, thank you, God Bless.
  • Robert: They ran out of chicken!
  • Riley: Aw, man! This is some old bullshit. [another man comes out]
  • Man #2: No chicken ?! You mean I ain't gonna get that bucket?! [a woman appears]
  • Woman #1: How can they be out of chicken?! It's Kernel's Fried Chicken!
  • Robert: This is outrageous! This is an outrage. [Riley pulls out his cell phone and dials 911]
  • Riley: Hello! 911. No, I ain't calling to snitch! I got a real emergency! Yeah, I'll hold.
  • Man #3: Some of us have been looking forward to this day for a long, long time. [Riley resumes his conversation with the police]
  • Riley: Hello! My emergency is, these fools done ran out of chicken! [the female worker repeats her previous line on the ordering machine but is stopped in mid-sentence and the first man kicks the ordering machine and rips it off with a second kick, shocking the others. The crowd angrily faces at the female worker and two male workers angrily. The crowd iindistinctly shouts and complains]
  • Robert: That's what they do--keep screwing the little man. They're not gonna get away with this!
  • Man #1: [to Robert] You right! [to the others] Hey, he's right! It's time for us to fight back! Let's knock some mothafuckas out about this chicken. [the man walks away]
  • Robert: [angrily] We are not going to get away from this. [the first man gets into his car]
  • Man #1: Damn, no chicken?! That's some bull [reverses his car into the front entrance to the crowd. The crowd looks at the man in his car. He then drives off and everyone gets out of the way, in which the man destroys the entrance. Everyone goes into the restaraunt and they finally get their chicken, with Robert and Riley left out. Later, a news anchorman reports.']
  • Anchorman: Tonight, civil unrest explodes in several major American cities [shots of riots are shown] There have been reports of fires, lootings, and violence in the streets [Huey is shown watching the news] all over a fast-food promotion gone terribly wrong. As the first costumers tasted the new secret recipe, reviews were stellar.
  • Man on TV: Yo, motherfuckers. Yo, nigga, this shit is bad as fuck. [grabs a white man and shoves the chicken in his mouth. The white man begins chewing it] You put this shit in your mouth, man! Eat that mothafucka, eat it! [resumes to anchorman]
  • Anchorman: But early on in the day, there were signs of trouble- [zooms to a picture of a crowd of impatient African Americans] impatient crowds, [shows picture of a lot of cars stretched in lines] drive-through lines stretching from miles, [a video clip of a black man getting his chicken until another black man grabs him and the two both struggles] scuffles between tired and hungry costumers. [a sobbing woman with another woman  are being interviewed]
  • Sobbing Woman: How you gonna say you got chicken and you ain't got no chicken. You knew y'all was gonna do this for a year! How am I supposed to feed my family now?! I want my [bleep] chicken. [camera shows Huey] My family want their [bleep] chicken. [Robert and Riley comes in]
  • Robert: [off-screen] I can't believe after that, no chicken. I always miss out on the hot new thing!
  • Anchorman: And now, another crisis brewing-this one around a mysterious virus that seems to have appeared out of thin air and is spreading like wildfire. Already, there are 400 confirmed cases of the mystery virus in all 50 states, and the CDC warns it could spread thousands by the end of the week. Personally, I'm scared shitless and for good reason. Where this virus came from is anybody's guess.
  • Huey: It's the chicken. [knocking at the door]
  • Robert: Who is it? [shows Tom at the door]
  • Huey: [off-screen] Have you eat the chicken?
  • Tom: Huh? Huey, it's Tom and Jazmine.
  • Huey: [in gas mask] Have you eaten the chicken?
  • Tom: [chuckles] No. [Huey opens the door]
  • Huey: What?
  • Jazmine: Huey, did you hear about the mystery virus?
  • Tom: Huey, you've got Jazmine terrified about this end-of-the-world stuff.
  • Jazmine: Tell him, Huey! Tell him the end is coming.
  • Tom: Look, if you guys want to play your little make-believe survival games, that's fine. But, sweetie, I promise you, the world is not going to end.
  • Jazmine: Please, daddy, it's not safe.
  • Tom: Sweetie, I have to pick up your mother. Stay as long as you want. Have fun. Call me when you want to come home.
  • Jazmine: [to her father] No. [Tom leaves]
  • Huey: He made his choice. You in or out. [the anchorman is reporting]
  • Anchorman: Nobody. Anway. Saw it coming. It's being called "the fried chicken flu". Thousands are sick, and CDC officials confirm today that the same fried chicken is responsible for a second day of riots around the country is also responsible for a pandemic that experts are saying, could reach biblical proportions.
  • CDC Expert: I've never seen any fucked up shit. I got to get out of here! [off-screen] Get out of my fucking way! [expert opens the door and closes it. The Freemans Cindy Phil and Jazmine are in panic]
  • Phil and Cindy: wow.
  • Jazmine: Oh...my...god!
  • Granddad: Oh, man. This is terrible.
  • Riley: Now we'll never get to try that chicken.
  • Anchorman: Today, [the mayor eating a chicken with cameras flicking flashes] the mayor of Louisville ate chicken at a press conference in show of support. [mayor in a strecher with some vomit on his shirt as he is being carried away by paramedics] Seven hours later, he was in a coma. [sick people are eating fried chicken] Yet, amazingly, people are still eating chicken, packing into the few restaraunts that still have the golden bird in stock, willing to risk life and limb for a leg and a thigh.
  • Jazmine: We're all gonna die!
  • Huey: [to Jazmine] We are not going to die!
  • Robert: No, she's right. We're all gonna die! [Jazmine begins sobbing] God, please, take everyone else but not me!
  • Huey: We are not going to die. This is the day I've been planning for my whole life. [carries four booklets and hands them to everyone] Here is the survival plan. It contains guidelines for security, food and water rationing, energy usage, communications et cetera, et cetera.
  • Robert: What?
  • Riley: [to Huey] Nigga, what is this? Homework.
  • Huey: [to everyone] Everything you need to know is in your packet. It's easy to understand, and I used extra-large type.
  • Robert: Uh, you know, I don't like to read instructions.
  • Riley: Yeah, and I don't like to read, period!
  • Robert: Just give us the gist.
  • Huey: No! You need to read all of it! It's all important.
  • Robert: Okay, but what's the most important stuff? [Huey groans]
  • Huey: I guess the most important thing is that we keep quiet about our emergency supplies and we don't let anyone else in the house, no matter what.
  • Robert: Fine. Agreed.
  • Jazmine: What about mommy and daddy?!
  • Huey: There's nothing we can do for them. They're goners.
  • Robert: Hyey's right. They're on their own.
  • Riley: They going to die. [Jazmine begins crying very loudly] Hey man, she gonna be crying like this all the time? 'Cause I say if she is, we kick her out.
  • Robert: Shh! Everybody shush! Shush! President Obama's talking. I know he's gonna tell us what to do. [Barack Obama is shown]
  • Barack Obama: Uh, good afternoon. I'd like to start off by thanking all of you out there, uh, who have called and written letters about the safety of the first family. You'll be happy to know that Michelle, Sasha, Malia and myself and Bo are all fine.
  • Robert: Don't nobody care about you, man! Tell us everything gonna be okay for us.
  • Barack Obama: Everything is gonna be okay...for us. We are currently in our very own super-r-secret underground bunker with enough food and water and entertainment to last several lifetimes. But I'm here tonight to talk about you. In time of crisis, Americans pull together and gonna get us through this difficult time? Sharing...
  • Cindy: Sharing!
  • Barack Obama: Lending a helping hand to a neighbor in their hour of need.
  • Robert: No, fuck a neighbor! What we need is a cure!
  • Barack Obama: Unfortunately, there is no cure for the pandemic we now face. But we do have an even more powerful weapon...compansion for our fellow man.
  • Robert: No, fuck compassion for our fellow man!
  • Barack Obama: In conclusion, I want to say that we are in some tough times ahead, and when I say "we", I mean you but Michelle, Sasha, Malia, myself, and Bo are gonna be right here, rooting for you all the way. Good night and god bless you and may god bless the United States of America.
  • Robert: [mourning] We're all gonna die! [Jazmine and Robert begins crying] We're all gonna die! [screen fades black. The next day, Huey comes in the kitchen]
  • Robert: Hey, good morning, Huey! [switches to a woman sitting near the table eating cereals] You want some breakfast!
  • Huey: Granddad, what's going on?
  • Robert: Just a little breakfast. Oh, by the way, this is Tina. She's gonna be staying here until the cris blows over. [Tina nighs a wave to Huey]
  • Huey: Granddad, the plan was for four people.
  • Robert: Well, how come you get to have a little friend and I can't have a friend.
  • Huey: It's not a slumber party, Granddad! I planned on Jazmine being here. I didn't plan for anyone else.
  • Robert: Well, your plan sucked! Shoot, you think the world's gonna end, I'm gonna be trapped up in here looking at y'all sweaty-necked negroes? You crazy [door bell rings] Uh, I'll get it!
  • Huey: Grandad, wait! [follows his grandfather] Granddad, the emergency plan says we don't open the front door until we know the identity of the person outside and can confirm they don't have...[Robert opens the door to reveal Thugnificent]
  • Robert: [to Thugnificent] What do you want?
  • Thugnificent: Hey, uh, Riley told me y'all had a fly little emergency setup over here, and, to be honest, a nigga was kind of wondering if he could hold it down for a little while. [Riley walks from the stairs]
  • Riley: [chuckles] Hey, what up, Thugnificent? Granddad, can he stay with us, too?
  • Huey: [to Riley] NO!
  • Robert: Why should I help him?
  • Thugnificent: Look, old nigga, this fried chicken flu is kind of scaring a nigga, man! Mothafuckas is wilin' out and shit. I mean, look, I don't know shit about survival, I'm a rapper.
  • Huey: [to Thugnificent] NO!
  • Robert: Nope. Sorry!
  • Riley: That's a cold situation. Both of y'all get friends, and I can't have a friend?
  • Robert: He does have a point. [to Thugnficent] You know, I don't like playing favorites.
  • Thugnificent: And I don't want you to think I came empty-headed either, nigga! Ain't nothing Thugnificent about being a freeloader. You smell me? LEONARD! [Leonard appears with two bags of Wendy foods]
  • Leonard: Yo. Anybody hungry? I got the whole menu right here, minus the chicken, or course. Check it out, we got singles, doubles, bacon doubles, double bacons with a little bit of meat on it, frosties, some chili cheese, right here. I wouldn't touch that, though, I tasted it on the way here. I ain't gonna lie-I ate the chili cheese. That's why I said don't taste it. But who wants some other stuff?
  • Huey: Granddad, this is not in the plan.
  • Robert: Well, according to the plan, all we got to eat is cheerios and green beans. So, one again, your plan sucks. [to Leonard] You got the bacon cheeseburgers.
  • Leonard: Here you go, Mr. Freeman. [hands Robert the food]
  • Robert: Thank you kindly.
  • Thugnificent: [laughs] Where my room at, nigga? [Robert shuts the door]
  • Meteorologist: Now, again, we don't want anyone to panic, but let's look at some of the projected casualty rates. Let's start with New York-projected million and a half dead. Maryland-three hundred thousand dead. Florida-a million and a half projected to push up days and now certain fears that the virus may have jumped franchises. May be affecting chickens from Bluto's, Temple's Chicken, and even Chicke-le-fait. [zooms out of TV]
  • Thugnificent: Damn! Everyone is catching this shit man! That must be some good-ass chicken.
  • Riley: The real tragedy is that we may never, ever get to eat fried chicken again. [doorbell rings. From the surveillance camera at the front door, Tom and Sarah are seen]
  • Tom: Robert? Huey?
  • Sarah: Anyone home?
  • Robert: [to Huey] Say "no". [Jazmine pushes Robert and Huey out of the way] Hey.
  • Jazmine: Mommy and Daddy!
  • Huey: What do you want? This [in deep disorted voice from outside] is the restricted area.
  • Tom: Huey, uh...it's us. We're just checking on Jazmine and, um, wondering if it was too late to...
  • Sarah: Is Huey home? Can we just talk to Huey? Or Robert?
  • Huey: [in deep disorted voice] This is Huey.
  • Tom: Huey, let us in!
  • Huey: I can't.
  • Jazmine: That's not fair! You let everyone else in!
  • Robert: [deep voice] Oh to hell with them! They're on their own! [back into the house] We don't even have enough food for two more people.
  • Jazmine: What about what Leonardo brought!
  • Riley: No way. That's for us!
  • Tom: Guys, it's us-Tom and Sarah. We are your neighbors and dear friends. We've had so many hilarious adventures together. Come on. [Tom becomes angry.' Sarah gives a frowning face] You're really gonna leave us here to die!
  • Huey: [whispers] Maybe we should let them in, 'cause Jazmine will start crying and we'll never get here to shut her up.
  • Robert: Okay, I guess.
  • Huey: Step forward to the camera. [Tom and Sarah does so. The scanner occurs and the two are in perfect shape] They can come in.
  • Jazmine: Really?! Thank you, Huey! Thank you, thank you!
  • Huey: But there not allowed to eat anything.
  • Robert: Works for me. [everyone leaves with Jazmine somehow left behind. In the living room, everyone is eating Wendy's food. Tom and Sarah are disappointed. Jazmine is eating Cheerios.]-
  • Huey: [sighs] Eleven people. We don't have anywhere near enough food and water.
  • Uncle Ruckus: I agree. There's way too many darkies in this house. [everyone pauses]
  • Robert: Ruckus [drops his bacon cheeseburger]
  • Huey: Ruckus. What are you doing here?
  • Uncle Ruckus: Oh, funniest things happen. I was in the attic, replacing some of that insulation, like you asked me to, Robert. Then there was like some kind of explosion. Then it went black, and I hit my noggin. I just woke up like five minutes ago. [Robert comes up to him]
  • Robert: You've been here this whole time?!
  • Uncle Ruckus: Yeah, but don't you worry. Old Uncle Ruckus is fine. I'm just fine. Oh, I noticed the president was on TV. What was that well-adressed nigga talking about? [at the door, Uncle Ruckus is being throwed out but the boys, Robert, and Thugnificent struggles]
  • Robert: Get the hell out of here! Come on, Ruckus, get on!
  • Uncle Ruckus: No, please, don't send me out there! I don't want the chicken flu! Lord, I'm too young to die! Please! I swear I'll never say anything out this dark!
  • Robert: No, get your fat ass outta here! [throws Uncle Ruckus out] Here, have a gas mask. [throws Uncle Ruckus a gas mask. Robert closes door. A female reporting explaining about the virus]
  • Anchorwoman: Asian stocks posted their biggest single-day decline history because of the fried chicken flu outbreak. [channel changes to another news channel]
  • Anchorman #2: The government of Pakistan collapsed as a result of the fried chicken flu pandemic. [a group of American soldiers are seen, wearing masks. The channel changes to another news channel]
  • Female Reporter: Authorities say fried chicken flu is responsibe for the tsunami that hit the coast of Vietnam this morning. [channel changes to the news channel from the beginning of the episode]
  • Anchorman: With everyone either sick or afraid of getting sick, the nation has come to a complete standstill. [a video of a lot of people in the hospital] Hospitals are overwhelmed, as are all basic services-power, water, cellphone and internet service. What? What's that? We're going live to yet another adress from President Obama. [President Barack Obama is making another announcement]
  • Barack Obama: Good evening. My fellow Americans, I want you to know that in this time of crisis. I am personally doing everything I can to help you. And by "everything", I mean sitting here and talking to you in a calm, soothing voice. And as long as you can hear my voice, everything is gonna be just fine. [the TV shuts off and so does the power. Huey and Jazmine in the garage working on the generator]
  • Huey: All that work, all that planning-why did I even try?
  • Jazmine: Because you're different from everyone else.
  • Huey: maybe your right Okay, try it. [Jazmine pulls the switch, it works and the power soon comes back on]
  • Jazmine: I knew you could do it. [Huey sighs. Huey arriving in the living room only to find everyone using all the power- Riley playing his video games; Sarah doing Jazmine's hair using a blowdryer; Thugnificent using the computer for a camera; Leonard vacuuming; and finally, Robert making smoothies]
  • Huey: Guys, wait! You're gonna use up all the power!
  • Robert: What, boy?!
  • Huey: You're gonna use up all the power!
  • Robert: I can't hear you! We have too much electronic equipment running at the same time! [the power shuts off]
  • Leonard: Aw, I'm scared of the dark!
  • Riley: [throws controller on the floor] DAMN! [days later, everyone are bored of the power out]
  • Thugnificent: [to Huey] How long we got to be up in here, man? It's been like a week and a half! We ain't got no power! It's getting a little old, all right?
  • Huey: No one's forcing you to stay here.
  • Thugnificent: Oh, oh, I get it! You want me to leave and go outside and get the fried chicken flu. Is that it, nigga?! You're trying to kill a nigga, nigga?!
  • Ms. Von Housen: Robert Freeman, this is the Woocrest Fried Chicken Flu Militia.  We demand to speak with you at once. [Robert and Huey heads to the camera to find Mrs Von Housen, Uncle Ruckus, and other white folks at the front door] We understand you are hoarding emergency supplies. This is a serious offense in a time of crisis.
  • Uncle Ruckus: You tell them, Ms. Von Housen. They got all types of goodies up in there. They got green beans and Cheerios and drinkable water-even a device that lets you pee in a cup and drink it right back in again. Still tastes like pee, but you get the idea.
  • Ms. Von Housen: The Woodcrest Fried Chicken Flu Militia will enforce the law until order is re-established. We demand that you let us in to inspect your house. [Huey and Robert looks at each other]
  • Huey: [in deep disorted voice] No!
  • Ms. Von Housen: I insist, Mr. Freeman! Let us in at once! [back to Huey and Riley's room]
  • Robert: Let me try! [in deep disorted voice] Get the fuck on! [the white folks gasps]
  • Ms. Von Housen: Mr. Freeman, we are not leaving until you allow us in!
  • Robert: That bitch must have lost her mind. We got to do something. What should we do?
  • Huey: It's in the plan. Did anyone read the plan. [everyone mumbles]
  • Jazmine: I did! Homemade tear gas.
  • Robert: Homemade tear gas-that's an idea! Uh-Uh
  • Jazmine: Yeah that's it!
  • Robert: That's an ideal response. That'll solve our problems. [they immediately makes the tear gas. The, Huey along with all the mdn on the roof]' Hey old woman, suck on this!
  • Thugnificent: [to Ms. Von Housen] That's right! Eat an old dick, old bitch! [Ms. Von Housen and the others panic]
  • Cindy: Fall back, faggots.
  • Tom: [to Riley] Now Riley, there's no need to be homophobic. [throws tear gas and taunts the townsfolks] Eat it, you pussy-punk bitches!
  • Ms. Von Housen: [about the boys] The terrorists are using chemical weapons! [to the townsfolks] Retreat! Retreat! [the men cheers. In the house, Jazmine and Huey as Tom is in sweat of bad shape]
  • Jazmine: How do you know if someone has fried chicken flu?
  • 'Phil': Well, it normally starts with a temperature and excessive sweatiness. [Tom pulls his collar] After that, tremendous stomach pain [Tom moans and holds his stomach painfully], headache, [Tom grabs his head] loss of balance. [Tom falls on the couch] as mucus builds up, they'll begin to have an incredible amount of snot. [Tom sneezes and reveals his great amount of snot] and after that the inevitable proile vomit. [Tom vomits as Huey and Jazmine turns around, Jazmine screams and she sees her father with vomit all over as he loses consciousness. Sarah and Jazmine are outside the door of the guest's room]
  • Sarah: Stay calm. Stay calm. [in the room, Huey is dressed in a quarantine suit] 
  • Huey: Tom! Tom! Can you hear me? Tom, I need to know how you contracted the flu? Did you leave the house?
  • Tom: No. I was so hungry, that I-Leonard. It was un-delicious. [Huey goes downstairs to the refrigiator. He pulls out the remaining Wendy's bag]
  • Leonard: I swear, my left hand, right hand to god, I did not feed him no chicken-just some fries and some buffalo wings.
  • Riley: Aw, man. There was chicken in here all this time?
  • Leonard: Chicken? No, no, not chicken-buffalo wings. You ain't just hear me say "buffalo wings"? You know what? When I tried one, I thought to myself, "this tastes like chicken", but then the fact it was a buffalo, I was like, "nah I don't wan't to say it out loud. Y'all gonna think I'm stupid". That's why I ain't get no chicken. Just got the buffalo.
  • Huey: buffalo
  • Robert: Get out of here! [we see Thugnificent naked when Tina half-naked]
  • Thugnificent: You, what's going on nigga!
  • Robert: You no-good, back-stabbing nigga! You too, you nasty-ass hooker!
  • Thugnificent: It ain't like that?
  • Robert: You mean I didn't just catch you on top of Tina?!
  • Thugnificent: Well...yeah, you did, but I swear I thought it was cool, man.
  • Robert: You thought it was COOL?! How is that cool?!
  • Thugnificent: I swear to god, man, she told me you wouldn't mind! I thought, you know, you was sharing with the homey! I mean, it ain't no fun unless your ho-nigga, you know what I'm talking about! Look, I-I thought we was tag-teaming on the ass, right.
  • Robert: That's disgusting! Get out! All of you, out, OUT!
  • Thugnificent: Please, please, please, let me stay, old nigga! I'm sorry I smashed your broad, all right? What are we going to do?!
  • Leonard: I didn't mean to kill Tom. I fed him 'cause I wanted him to live. And now he ain't gonna live, so it's like, why did I fed him? But I didn't mean to kill him. [Robert shuts the door. Everyone is in the gas mask in the room where Tom is in]
  • Huey: Betty's militia is going to come back, and we can't defend this place by ourselves. We have to go?
  • Phil: Leave the house? But where are we gonna go?
  • Huey: Don't know. We'll have to take our chances.
  • Tom: You guys go without me. I'm only gonna slow you down.
  • Sarah: [shedding tears from her eyes] Honey, no. We'd never leavy you.
  • Robert: Okay, if that's what you want. Come on, boys, We out of here.
  • Jazmine: Mr. Freeman
  • Tom: It's okay.There isn't enough room for the food and me. Take the food. Leave me. [everyone gets the supplies and ties it on top of Robert's car. Then, Robert carries Tom]
  • Robert: Ooh, Tom, you're heavy. [puts Tom in the trunk] Don't die in my trunk. [closes the trunk. Ms Von Housen and the rest arrives in costume-made clothing]
  • Ms. Von Housen: Robert Freeman. You, sir, are a terrorist and a threat to public good! Prepare to be apprehended! [laughs evilly. The garage door opens with Robert preparing for war and drives off] After them! [the townsfolks enters the bus] Get in the bus! [on the road as the bus, driven by Uncle Ruckus, catches them. Uncle Ruckus rams Robert's car and, in response, Robert rams the bus and the two has a struggle. Some of the men from the militia jumps on top of the car and they loose up the supplies and falls down along with the supplies. Thugnificent in his delivery truck, along with Leonard appears on the road. Everyone, except for Huey, gasps and screams as Thugnificent crashes the bus. The bus and truck then slides off the road.]
  • Ms. Von Housen: ROBERT FREEMA... [Uncle Ruckus shoves her head onto the ground]
  • Uncle Ruckus: NEXT TIME, NIGGA?!
  • Thugnificent: RIDE ON, OLD MAN! I LOVE YOU, ROBERT?! I'M SORRY OLD NIGGA?! [turns around. To the townsfolks] What the fuck y'all wearing! [The anchorman is in front of Kernel's Fried Chicken]
  • Anchorman: We're here at Kernel's Fried Chicken outside of Woodcrest. It now seems that fried chicken flu was actually salmonella. None of those millions of people projected to die have died. In fact, it appears nobody has died. We are being told there are still large areas without power, meaning many people are still not aware that the crisis has ended. We're going to go now to...wait. I'm seing something here. Uh, it looks like something's coming right at us. [the cameraman switches to Robert's car on the road] Dear god, RUN! [the car crashes to the camera and into the restaraunt. The Freemans and the others regains consciousness]
  • Riley: [off-screen] Are we dead?
  • Sarah: I think I'm sitting on Tom?
  • Tom: [off-screen] I'm okay.
  • Robert: [to the employee] Ooh! Can I get-can I get a two-piece and a biscuit?
  • Riley: And all the fries you can give me. [The Freemans loses consciousness]
  • [the episode ends here]

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